Well, our daughter, Courtney has been gone over a month now. Previous times when she has left, we knew where she was staying. This time we do not. I asked her youngest sister today if she knew where Courtney was staying. She said no. I told her that someone needs to find out where she is staying so if something happens to her, we know where to look for her. Courtney speaks to her sisters on the phone, I think. But she is not speaking to us. The last time she left, she acted like it was normal that she left, and she was living a normal life. We were just strange because we didn't like her friends. This time I don't think she cares what we think.
I have been reading a lot. I am currently reading "When Your Child Breaks Your Heart" by Barbara Johnson. I love to read her books. I can really relate to the way Barbara feels. Her child was a homosexual (he has since left that lifestyle). This is not the problem with our daughter, but I can relate to Barbara's feelings of loss when her son leaves home and she doesn't know where he is. Of her wanting to find another mother to talk to, who has lived through this and can explain it to her. I feel exactly the same way. I just want to meet someone who's child has come back to everyday normal life. I want them to tell me that everything will be fine, and how I can fix this. So far that is not happening.
Another thing I have done this week is to join some Internet support groups. Once again, I don't seem to find anyone whose situation is like mine. One group is for mothers of incarcerated adult children. That is not my situation, but I found them because their title is about prodigals. They have been very welcoming to me and seem to be kind, caring women.
I feel God pulling me to do something here. I really believe there are other mothers like me somewhere, who need support and answers. I just can't seem to find them.
You are not alone. I have been dealing with a similar story for 25 years. Our oldest is 38, our youngest 27 and just recently he has gone off the tracks.
ReplyDeleteI have mostly struggled alone, searching for resources to help - books, Scriptures, even counseling with my husband a couple of times. I have been encouraged and learned a great deal from these resources. I have grown in my spiritual life and prayer life. So far, I continue to be convicted that nothing replaces constant, fervent, passionate intercessory prayer. I have recently felt led to start a support group in my church and am just beginning to pursue that. I don't know where that will lead, but it is God's work.
You are not alone, but even if you were, you are not powerless. We all have the power of the Holy Spirit and God's Word, and the passion and commitment of our love for our children. That's formidable. Don't give up.
While your post is old, I know you are still there, fighting. We are mothers until the day we die and God hears all our prayers. He knows where your child is even if you don't.
In His Love,
A Sister in Texas
A Sister in Texas,
DeleteI apologise for not answering this comment sooner. It has meant so much to me, and I have kept it on my phone to look back at. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. I wish you were closer and maybe we could meet and share and pray together. Yes, I am still here. I guess I probably will be for a while. Thanks for letting me know that others have made the trip and are still here to tell about it! I would like to hear more about your group as it develops. Good luck!