I've been thinking a lot since I saw Courtney. I wish I had hugged her and told her I love her. I just didn't want to upset her any more than she already was. Last night I saw the biggest Bama moon! As big as a plate or something. I wondered if my little girl was seeing the same moon, wherever she was.
Today her sister told me that Courtney got a new phone number. I figured it was one of her friend's phones, that she had used on another occasion. I guess she doesn't want to talk to us. Her dad said he didn't have anything to say to her. I don't know how we got to this stage in our life.
Today she texted me and said she needed her last-year's-tax-return so she could take off her school expenses. She knows that we intend to take her off our taxes as a dependent because she lived here last year. I don't know. I felt sick all day. Don't know if it is nerves, worry, or something left over from my gall bladder surgery a couple of months ago. I didn't answer her text because I didn't feel like arguing with her, and if she wanted to talk she could call. She is just avoiding me.
I don't know if she will ever get on her feet, and cling to God.
I know two years ago, I thought the worst thing in the world was that she was dating a Mormon. And a year ago, she was dating a guy that was a member of the same church we are, but he was an alcoholic and had two DUIs. Her Dad thought it would drag Courtney down, to be with someone like that when she was trying to get her own life straightened out. The guy told Courtney, "I always said I would know when I met the right girl, when I thought she would help me get to heaven". I told her that was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. She just smirked, and said that they were just friends. I told her HE wasn't just her friend. He came to church with us for the longest, and sat on our pew. He was a nice guy, who had a problem. So now she is with people who don't care about her, and she doesn't care about us. I wish things were so different.