Monday, March 19, 2012

Didn't See Her

She didn't come.  Courtney called and said that all her room mates were sick, and she didn't want to give us anything.  Said she would call later in the week.  Both of her sisters asked this morning where Courtney was, why she didn't show up.  So something was going on, but I guess it changed.  I don't know what is going on now.  I guess we'll see. 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Birthday Celebration and other stuff

Yesterday was Courtney's birthday.  Actually she is a twin and it was their birthday.  We planned a small family celebration, and she told her sisters she was coming.  Then she didnt' know if she was coming.  She did come, but she was late, and she brought another girl with her.  One of the girls she is living with.  They sat in chairs side by side, and didn't say much.  She ate, and opened her gifts.  She left early. 

She had been gone about 20 minutes when I got a call from her.  She had left her purse, and was at the gas station and needed someone to bring her purse.  Someone from the party was going that way, and took it to her. 

Today after church, she called again.  I could tell she was crying but she acted like she wasn't, so I didn't say anything.  She asked if she could stay here tonight because she missed us.  I told her she could, so she said she would be here about midnight.  She had to work till 10:00, then had to clean up the restaurant.  She would go by to get her books and computer, and then be out.  So I made her bed, and will wait and see if she shows up.

She called again, still crying.  She asked if I would be able to cash a check she got for her birthday, so she could get to work Monday.  I told her I could.  Last year, the night of her birthday, her birthday cash was stolen and she was beaten up, by the man she lives with now (we believe).  So this year no one gave her money, that I know of. 

One of her sisters told me the man she is staying with was being mean to her this week.  I think he was disappointed today that she didn't get any money from us.  Her sister said they (she lives in an apartment with several people) were asking her to leave, and the guy told her he didn't want to "be with her" any more.

Last night she asked me if I knew why the man from church called her.  She said they are going to lunch Friday.  I told her I didn't, that he called and asked for her number and where she was staying.  She seemed worried.

Maybe things are coming together for her some what.  Not coming together successfully, but coming out so she will see this life is not that great, and she can do better.  She deserves better.  Maybe she will realize this lifestyle is wrong for her.  I hope this is not just a stopping place until she can find somewhere else to stay.

Pray for us.  I'll keep you posted.

Friday, March 16, 2012

This Has Been A Really Strange Month

This has been a really strange month for me.  You know, I told you it started out with a tornado.  We didn't have utilities and couldn't leave our home for four days.  The day of the tornado, in the middle of sirens going off and being in the storm shelter, our daughter Courtney called.  That was nice, that she thought of us and wanted to check on us.  But I haven't heard from her since. 

After that, another daughter decided to breakup with her boyfriend and that he should move.  He was not open to this idea.  She stayed here a few nights.  Her son stayed here several nights.  One night she changed the locks, and the police were called.  I was called and asked to come get the child.  Lots of drama this month.

So I thought that maybe, since I wasn't hearing from Courtney, and she wasn't asking for money, maybe she was doing OK.  Maybe she was getting on her feet and could take care of herself.  Maybe she just didn't want to be around us.  Not everyone lives the same way, and even though it is hard, if she made the choice to live a different life than I would want for her, I could live with that.  If she could take care of  herself and she was happy and healthy.  I would live with her choice, and let her be.

But today I got a phone message.  Some one who knows us well, from church and business, called.  He wanted to know if I knew where Courtney was staying, and did I have a number for her.  He wanted to go see her.

I mentioned this to my husband.  I thought it was odd, knew it meant something.  But I honestly didn't want to know what.  My husband asked if I had asked any questions.  He seemed surprised that I said, "No".  My husband told me that he had heard from two different sources that Courtney is trading "things" for drugs. 

So, I guess life isn't going so good for her.  As much as I'd hoped otherwise.  This man would have had a reason to hear this and be concerned for her.  He has cared for our daughter her whole life, and even baptised her when she was nine years old.

I've had a few people tell me to just "love her".  I've never stopped loving her.  I could never stop loving her.  But when I see her I feel such sorrow.  So I guess we just keep going.  Day to day, living our lives.  Hoping and praying that she will wake up and realize what she is losing, before something bad happens to her. 

I told a relative that if I just knew that in the end, everything would be fine and she would be safe and healthy, I could live with this.  I could get through this.  But the "not knowing", will kill you. 

Tomorrow is her birthday.  She says she will be by.  Last year, on the 18th, she called me when she woke up.  She had been beaten up, and her money stolen. I took her to the hospital and waited with her while they fixed her up.  We'll see how this year goes.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sorry I've Been Gone

It's been a wild two weeks here since I visited last.  March 2, we had a tornado.  Our family is safe, and our home is fine.  But our community had a lot of damage.  I had to leave my car and walk home abut a mile because of downed power lines and trees.  We were really blessed.

Courtney called during the second tornado, to see if we were OK.  We were in the shelter, so I wasn't able to talk long.  She said she was calling from her job.  I told her we were safe and thanked her for calling.  I told her I loved her and she said the same.  That's it.  I haven't heard from her since.  She told her sisters she tries to call me everyday.  But that is not true.  Her birthday is soon, and I think she plans to come by.  We will see.  At least we know she is safe.

Thanks so much for all your prayers and comments.  I will answer them all soon.  But I wanted you to know how much they mean to me. 

Hope you all have a blessed week.