Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Day 9 of 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

I am looking for a new church home.  About a month ago, on a Wednesday night, the preacher taught about how Christians don't have problems in their life, if the faith is what it should be.  He went on and on about this.  How he didn't have any problems.  I guess it just grated on me.  Finally, I stood up, and said, "Let me make certain I understand what you are saying.  You believe," I'm speaking very slowly, trying to think about how I want to say this while I talk. "That if I had a more, ..... PERFECT faith, ....... That I wouldn't be in court with my daughter?!".  Everyone one hushes, and their mouths fall open.  Women don't speak out in my church.  But my husband isn't a believer, so I don't have any choice.  I have to clarify this.  He slowly looks down, then back up toward me.  "Yes, that is what I believe.  And I believe that if you studied it more, you would see that I am right".

Well, I finally, breathed, then sat down.  I crossed my arms, and didn't say anything else the rest of the night.  After the lesson was over, the preacher's wife came over to talk to me.  She, and everyone else knew I was mad.  I left, and I believe I have only been back once. 

We are now visiting churches.  I knew for a while that my beliefs were different than the preacher's, and that I was going to have to leave.  But I was trying to wait till our court stuff was over.  So now we are visiting other churches.  And I get an email that we have court next week.  So I have to decide if I will ask the preacher to go with us.  He has before.  Just not sure I want to be in that position, of asking. 

It's hard right now to talk about what is going on with us.  I don't feel I should be discussing this publically, and am paranoid that someone might recognize us.  One day, when this is all over an resolved, I will write the truth.  All of it.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Day 5 of 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

For the last few years, I have been looking for a group of other prodigal's moms to talk to, pray with, to support and find friendship with.  I have found a couple of groups who have made a lot of difference to me this year.  Two of the groups are secret, private groups on Face book.  In one of these groups, I have met another mom who has 4 prodigal children.  I have had two, though currently I only have one.  This group made me realize that my story is not the saddest or worst one there.  I don't know people in real life who deal with prodigal children.  So it has been eye opening to have other people that I can compare my life to. 

Some good things I am holding to this week, concerning my prodigal:

She has not been arrested or in prison before.

She has a job

She is healthy

I know where she is

She was raised in the church and knows the Lord.

One day I hope she realizes she desires the life God has planned for her.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Day 2: 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

Day 2:  31 Days of  Being the Prodigals' Mom
Today's is our prodigal's day to visit her child.  She started texting me this morning that she wanted to meet at a local restaurant that has a play area, tonight.  Usually when she does this, someone just happens to show up at the visitation, who isn't suppose to be there.  So we didn't go, and she didn't complain.  But she didn't come see her child either.  She called to talk to him two or three times, but couldn't drive 10 miles to eat with him or spend an hour with him.  She saw him a week ago for a couple of hours.  Then she saw him Saturday for about 15 minutes.  I never thought the day would come where she would choose a man over being her child's mom.  If I spend much time thinking about it, it makes me sad.