Friday, October 5, 2012

Day 6 of 31 Days of Prayers for my Prodigals

Lord, I heard from Courtney again today.  It was sad, and I'm not sure I did the right thing.  She called and asked for money.  $1,000 to rent an apartment.  I told her that I can't send her money and keep her up half way across the country.  I told her that if she wanted to come  home we would work that out and get her home, but I can't financially support her there.  She told me she was doing well there.  I can't see that she's done anything really since she's been gone almost two months.  She did get a job, but the next day she had to leave the place she was staying, so she can't walk to work there anymore.  She did quit smoking, and I thought she had quit drinking, but the other night she called drunk. 

I told Courtney that as long as I'm alive, if she comes home she will always have something to eat and always have a place to sleep.  But I can't send her money out there.  She told me there were ways to make money quickly if I wouldn't send it to her. But she was going to stay there because she felt it was best for her.  I told her I knew about those ways to make money.  And it was her decision because she is an adult. 

I wonder if there is another Mother out there who feels like I do.  I feel like I'm standing outside my body watching a movie.  You know the kind you watch through your fingers when your hands are over your eyes.  I don't know how we got to this place.  I feel like other parents would do things completely different.  But I can't.  I just feel like I can't give in. 

Lord, I pray that You will make Your presence known to Courtney this weekend.  I pray you will do this in a way that she will not be able to deny.  I pray that she will open her eyes and see the truth.  Open her heart and hear the things You want to tell her.  I pray, Lord, that she will know the plans You have for her.  I believe they must be great plans.  She is such a special girl.  I am trying not to worry about her Lord, because I know You have her in Your hands.  I hope she puts this foolish idea behind her and comes home before she gets hurt.  Amen


  1. I am sorry that Courtney has chosen such an unproductive path up till this point, and totally understand the pain it must be causing you now. It's got to be hard to listen to phone calls from far away with little good news to report. You have to know, though, that sending cash isn't good and won't help her in the long run, probably just the opposite. You are doing the right thing, even if you second guess yourself. I'm still praying for Courtney too.

  2. Thank you so much. I appreciate your prayers.