Tough Week

This has been a tough week.  We have not heard from Courtney since Tuesday.  I thought she might come to church today, but she did not, and I still haven't heard from her.  Since Thursday she has been living alone in an apartment with two men.  The other female roommate went out of town, and told Courtney she should find somewhere else to stay.  She shouldn't be alone there.  But Courtney didn't listen.

Our other daughter, Molly, was been on a roller coaster.  One minute she is through with her boyfriend, the next she thinks they will get back together.  She spend all week here until last night.  The she called at about 11:00 and said she was coming down because she didn't feel good.  She and the baby came.  Today, she has been with the boyfriend all day, and says he is moving back in.  All I can do is pray.  I'm praying a lot.

Once again

OK.  Let's just cut to the chase.  Courtney is not coming home.  She was suppose to talk to her Dad and I this afternoon, and move home.  She is off Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and she would have had plenty of time to do this.  Today she texted me and said she wasn't ready to leave her boyfriend yet, and until she was it wouldn't work.  He had told her he is ready for this to be over.  In the ten weeks or so she has been gone, she had pawned her car, taken out a signature loan, and given these people every penny she has.  The other girl living in the apartment is leaving thursday night to go out of town, and told our daughter she should leave and go home.  The girl plans to move out of state in August, and that will leave Courtney alone in the apartment with two men.  I know this is not going to end well, but there is nothing I can do because she is of age.

Many people she respects are trying to tell her this is a mistake and she needs to leave the apartment and the people she is with.  Courtney also asked me to text her some photos from last year when she was beaten up and I had to take her to the hospital.  She couldn't remember what happened, but we always felt her boyfriend did it.  So maybe this means she is thinking about what she needs to do.   I don't know if she will or not.  I just don't know.

On a better note, our other daughter drove up this afternoon with a car full of her's and our grandchild's belongings.  She told her boyfriend to leave and he refused.  So she will stay here until he is gone.  This was a welcome surprise, but I don't know how long it will last, either. 

Praying that our youngest remains strong, and that our other daughter realizes she needs to respect herself!

Maybe Tomorrow

A lot of things have been happening in the last few weeks.  We have been in touch with Courtney.  She has visited several times, and has been in church with us the last two weeks. 

She called me today and asked if we could meet to talk.  I met her at a restaurant, we talked.  She cried almost the whole time we were there.  She said she has lost 15 lbs, is tired of being depressed, and wants to come home.  She is coming over tomorrow to talk with us.  So we will see if we work something out.  She said it will be hard to leave someone she loves, even if he is mean to her.  I said that it is never wise to let your heart rule your life.  She didn't like that too much and just believes I am wrong.

The people at her new job are encouraging her to move home and start over.  We will see where this goes. 

April is Here

Well, I'm sure you all realized that April is here.  Last month was such a busy month for many reasons.  Our daughter, Courtney didn't move home.  She asked to.  Told us she was going to.  Told us the day and time.  Then, at the last minute she decided that she would tell her boyfriend.  He told here he didn't want her to leave.  After being "mean" to her all month, per her sisters.  She told him she had devoted too much time into a relationship that was never going to change.  That she wanted a different life than the one they were living.  He told her he wanted a new life too.  He wanted to change.  Courtney told me he must mean it, otherwise why say it?  I told her he said it because it was what she wanted to hear.  Now that she got a job and is working 50 hours a week, he finds it a lot nicer to have her and her paycheck around. 

So things around here continue as they are.  We do know where Courtney is working, and I can contact her if I need to.  Her boss at work told her to tell her Mom that she, Courtney, is the "prodigal child" and wants to come home.  This kinda threw me for a loop, for a minute.  Then Courtney said, "My boss said you would know what that meant, and who that was".  I told her that I did know what that meant."  I went by her work one day, and met her boss and co-workers.  They all seemed very nice, Christian people.  I have been praying that believing Christian people would be in her life each day, and encourage her to change her life.  It looks like that is coming to pass. 

After I left, Courtney's boss asked if she was moving home.  Courtney said," probably, but I'm not sure yet".  Her boss told her they would talk later, but she really needs to make this change.

Sunday at church we had an egg hunt and lunch.  All my family was there.  All my daughters, and my husband, as well as myself and my grandchild.  It was wonderful for us all to be together. 

Tomorrow I will tell you about the call I got from a church elder this week.

Didn't See Her

She didn't come.  Courtney called and said that all her room mates were sick, and she didn't want to give us anything.  Said she would call later in the week.  Both of her sisters asked this morning where Courtney was, why she didn't show up.  So something was going on, but I guess it changed.  I don't know what is going on now.  I guess we'll see. 

Birthday Celebration and other stuff

Yesterday was Courtney's birthday.  Actually she is a twin and it was their birthday.  We planned a small family celebration, and she told her sisters she was coming.  Then she didnt' know if she was coming.  She did come, but she was late, and she brought another girl with her.  One of the girls she is living with.  They sat in chairs side by side, and didn't say much.  She ate, and opened her gifts.  She left early. 

She had been gone about 20 minutes when I got a call from her.  She had left her purse, and was at the gas station and needed someone to bring her purse.  Someone from the party was going that way, and took it to her. 

Today after church, she called again.  I could tell she was crying but she acted like she wasn't, so I didn't say anything.  She asked if she could stay here tonight because she missed us.  I told her she could, so she said she would be here about midnight.  She had to work till 10:00, then had to clean up the restaurant.  She would go by to get her books and computer, and then be out.  So I made her bed, and will wait and see if she shows up.

She called again, still crying.  She asked if I would be able to cash a check she got for her birthday, so she could get to work Monday.  I told her I could.  Last year, the night of her birthday, her birthday cash was stolen and she was beaten up, by the man she lives with now (we believe).  So this year no one gave her money, that I know of. 

One of her sisters told me the man she is staying with was being mean to her this week.  I think he was disappointed today that she didn't get any money from us.  Her sister said they (she lives in an apartment with several people) were asking her to leave, and the guy told her he didn't want to "be with her" any more.

Last night she asked me if I knew why the man from church called her.  She said they are going to lunch Friday.  I told her I didn't, that he called and asked for her number and where she was staying.  She seemed worried.

Maybe things are coming together for her some what.  Not coming together successfully, but coming out so she will see this life is not that great, and she can do better.  She deserves better.  Maybe she will realize this lifestyle is wrong for her.  I hope this is not just a stopping place until she can find somewhere else to stay.

Pray for us.  I'll keep you posted.

This Has Been A Really Strange Month

This has been a really strange month for me.  You know, I told you it started out with a tornado.  We didn't have utilities and couldn't leave our home for four days.  The day of the tornado, in the middle of sirens going off and being in the storm shelter, our daughter Courtney called.  That was nice, that she thought of us and wanted to check on us.  But I haven't heard from her since. 

After that, another daughter decided to breakup with her boyfriend and that he should move.  He was not open to this idea.  She stayed here a few nights.  Her son stayed here several nights.  One night she changed the locks, and the police were called.  I was called and asked to come get the child.  Lots of drama this month.

So I thought that maybe, since I wasn't hearing from Courtney, and she wasn't asking for money, maybe she was doing OK.  Maybe she was getting on her feet and could take care of herself.  Maybe she just didn't want to be around us.  Not everyone lives the same way, and even though it is hard, if she made the choice to live a different life than I would want for her, I could live with that.  If she could take care of  herself and she was happy and healthy.  I would live with her choice, and let her be.

But today I got a phone message.  Some one who knows us well, from church and business, called.  He wanted to know if I knew where Courtney was staying, and did I have a number for her.  He wanted to go see her.

I mentioned this to my husband.  I thought it was odd, knew it meant something.  But I honestly didn't want to know what.  My husband asked if I had asked any questions.  He seemed surprised that I said, "No".  My husband told me that he had heard from two different sources that Courtney is trading "things" for drugs. 

So, I guess life isn't going so good for her.  As much as I'd hoped otherwise.  This man would have had a reason to hear this and be concerned for her.  He has cared for our daughter her whole life, and even baptised her when she was nine years old.

I've had a few people tell me to just "love her".  I've never stopped loving her.  I could never stop loving her.  But when I see her I feel such sorrow.  So I guess we just keep going.  Day to day, living our lives.  Hoping and praying that she will wake up and realize what she is losing, before something bad happens to her. 

I told a relative that if I just knew that in the end, everything would be fine and she would be safe and healthy, I could live with this.  I could get through this.  But the "not knowing", will kill you. 

Tomorrow is her birthday.  She says she will be by.  Last year, on the 18th, she called me when she woke up.  She had been beaten up, and her money stolen. I took her to the hospital and waited with her while they fixed her up.  We'll see how this year goes.