Day 1 - 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

Day 1 :  31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

Hello friends.  My topic for this 31 Day challenge is 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom.  So much has happened in the last year, that it is hard to know where to start.  Instead of writing this like a diary, I will just talk about a topic each day.  Something I am dealing with currently in my quest to bring all my prodigals home.

One of our daughters came home in the spring.  Although it was hard being together again, things are great now.  She has made a lot of progress and is living on her own.  She is working on getting some court stuff paid off, so she can get her license back.  She is doing great and plans to go in the Military as soon as she finishes with her legal fines.

Our other daughter is not doing so well.  She has moved several times in the last six months.  She has changed jobs several times as well.  She broke up with her boy friend, got back together, and that status changes daily. 

The newest thing going on is that she has started posting about what horrible parents we are on the Internet.  Then all her friends comment on it and agree with her.  What is funny is that then, many times her friend's mothers, aunts, or grandmothers will contact me and tell me about these rants on the web.  In this way, the girls are able to tell our daughter they didn't tell us, but they want us to know what is said.  Our daughter has blocked our entire family, so no one can see what she does or says.  But still I know. 

I have recently found an Internet support group of other mothers of prodigal.  It is great.  The very first day, I realized that my story was not the "worst" story there.  That is never the case in person, among people I really know.  One lady had several prodigal children.  And she still functions and has a life.  I am seeing that I can get through this.  I just have to hold on to the fact that our life is not always going to be this way.  If it is, don't anyone tell me different, because I don't think I could stand it!

Till tomorrow!

31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom starts Tuesday!

 

The blogger "31 Days of" Link up with The Nester Blog starts Tuesday October 1.  I hope you will check back with me here.

I believe this is my second year linking up, and I plan to discuss what I have learned in the last year as the Prodigals' Mom.  One of my children came home and is doing well.  Another is not doing so well. 

I have been able to find some support for myself in a few places this past year.  Maybe I can share a little of what I've learned with you here.  See you Tuesday!

UPDATE:

Please scroll down to see each day's post!  Each will be titled Day ___ of 31 Days of Being a Prodigals' Mom

Happy New Year 2013

Hello friends.  It has been about 6 weeks since I have been here to publish any news.  I have been doing some self examination.  I have decided that I need to move forward with my life, day by day.  I need to put my family that lives with me first.  I can't go back to the way things used to be, no matter how much I'd like to.  I just need to keep going forward.  That is all I can do.

I hope you all have a wonderful new year.  The best ever.  I hope we can all say that this time next year.  That 2013 was the best year ever.  Dawn

New Day

Well, I made it.  Another day.  Today I got several calls about or for Molly.  One was from a doctor I didn't know.  Wonder if it was for prescriptions?  Don't guess I'll find out.  Another one was a complaint about some of her behavior.

Husband is not handling all this well, and I don't know how to help him.  I wish I did.  I'll keep working on that. 

Hope you all had a wonderful day.  I went to Bible Study tonight.  I'm thinking about looking for a new congregation. 

Dawn

I've Gotta Live the Life I Have

Some of you may have noticed I haven't been here in a few weeks.  I guess if you have prodigals in your life, or uncontrollable elements that you deal with, you might understand where I've been the last couple of weeks.  I have been wallowing.  In the past.  Wishing and remembering that past life, and trying to figure out how to get back there.  What could I do to make things like they were. 

Finally I realized that is unlikely.  Of course, many things can't "go back".  Kids grow and age.  Things change.  But even the things that could change are unlikely. 

Courtney seems to be doing better.  She was told by the doctor out there that her arm would be healed in about two more weeks.  I'm please that she is better.  Also she sounds better in other ways as well.  Today she called to tell me she will be home for Christmas.  A friend is driving her here.  The friend will stay for about two weeks, then Courtney and her friend will head back, unless Courtney changes her mind and stays.  So we will see.  That is a good thing to look forward to.

Our daughter Molly has "divorced" us.  She is angry at us for everything in her life.  She trashes us all over town.  She calls herself by a different last name.  She talks about us to people we do business with, and posts stuff on the internet about us.  I never thought I would reach a point in my life where my daughter would act like this, and I would say nothing.  Not defend myself, not discuss it, etc.  I don't know if people think I'm crazy or she is.  I don't know if they wonder if we know, or wonder why we don't respond.  It is a hard time around here.  People I don't even know call to tell me things about her, what she has said, etc.  Sometimes people hint around, wanting to see if I will respond, try to get me to discuss her.  The last think I want to do is "air my laundry in public".  She is doing enough of that for all of us.  Molly is making bad choices all around, about a lot of things.  I'm afraid the day is going to come when her choices will be gone.

This week I saw a clip art that said, "Well Hello There!  You look like a bad decision.  Come on over here!"  I feel like I have seen that one up close and personal.  More than once.

So I have been wondering how I can fix everything.  How I can make this all better for my family.  And I felt God say to me that I needed to live the life I have now.  I can pray that things get better.  Pray that our daughters make better lives for themselves.  And I do feel that Courtney is trying at the moment.  But regardless, I have to let go of how things were, and concentrate on what I can do now, to make things better in my home for my household.  I know that doesn't mean I won't think of my daughters and pray for them each day.  It just means that I need to make new priorities.  Priorities I have better control over.

God takes care of the birds.  He will take care of my daughters.  He knows what is best for them.  I will continue to pray.  But I am going to TRY to step back, and get out of God's way.  I know He loves them, too.  I'm going to let Him do his work.  And I'm going to pray.

In this way I can be a better wife to my husband, mother to my at-home daughter, and grandmother to my grandchild.  At least I can try.

Stop back by to see me tomorrow.  I'm going to try hard to be here!  I hope all of you are having a better week than we are.  See you tomorrow.

Dawn

Day 29 of 31 Days of Prayers for My Prodigals

A recent comment to my blog:

ctober 26, 2012 2:51 PM

I re-read this today and gave it some thought. Perhaps one reason you've not been able to build a community is because you're so closed off. There is no picture in your "About Me" section. We don't know your name, or where you live. It makes it much more difficult to connect if the other person holds others at arms' length.

ReplyDelete

Hello friends,

I received this comment a few days ago.  When it showed up on my cell phone as comments do, it was stunning.  The reason was because I knew she was right.  I have often thought the same thing about this blog myself.  The reason I hold people at arm's length is because a part of me still hopes and prays that one day my girls will come to their senses.  They will wake up and realize what a mess they have made of their lives, and they will decide to change.  And when that happens, I would rather them have the opportunity to do so without everyone else knowing all the mistakes they have made.  I know some people know.  Because they tell us lots of things.  But no one knows everything they do.  Even I don't know everything.  And I hope one day they will deserve a second chance and be able to start a new life.  I realize that I don't have a lot of followers here.  But people do stop by and read what is going on here. Sometimes I'm amazed at the views a day has.  I wonder about it.  Do the viewers also have children they don't know what to do with?  Or are they just checking in to see when I will come to my senses, or lose my mind.  When I don't show up for a few days, do they wonder if I ran away?  I know I worry sometimes about the bloggers I read about, if they are missing for a while.

So anyway, I hope to become closer to the people who visit here.  I feel I am drifting closer to the place where I will be less concerned about being anonymous, and more concerned about being able to help others who may feel they are in a similar situation as I am.

Thank you for all the comments, and especially for the one above.  I appreciate you taking time to share with me your thoughts.  And for taking time to think of my family.  By the way, my name is Dawn, and I live somewhere in the South. 

Please every one be safe during this terrible hurricane.  I have already received prayer requests from some groups I am affiliated with or lead.  I pray you all are safe.

Dear Lord,

Thank you so much for this wonderful day.  Thank you for your son, Jesus, who died so we all could have eternal life.  Thank you, Lord, for the readers who encourage me so often.  Please bless them, Lord.

Lord, I know you know that Courtney seems to be doing better lately.  Every time I hear from her she seems happy and more like her old self.  Lord, stay with her, and guide her to the place you have chosen for her.  She has started daily study in your word.  She is also sharing her faith with others.  Lord, help her to continue to grow in her relationship with you.

Lord, Molly is stumbling.  I know so many things that I can't share.  I pray that you will keep your arms around Molly.  Lord help her to see that the ones she thinks are her friends, are not.  They just want what ever she has to give.  Please let her keep herself safe and apart from the ones she calls her friends.  I pray, Lord, that she will not get in trouble with the law, because of the ones she is running around with.  But if that has to happen Lord, to pull her back to us, then I know you will keep her safe.

Guide, guard, and direct us, Lord.  Amen
 

Day 23 of 31 Days of Prayers for my Prodigals

Hello friends,  So sorry that I have been missing for the last 5 days.  Computer problems, family problems.  But I am glad to be here today. 

Molly called me this week and asked me who I thought had called her.  I had no idea.  She told me that she got a call from a jail in another state.  Someone she dated a while ago called her.  They spoke several times that day, but she thought she was going to have to block his calls.  I asked what he was in jail for, and she said drugs.  I told her I was very sorry to hear that.  And I am.

That got me thinking.  So many people we know have children who are involved with drugs.  Several people we know have lost a child to drugs.  I can think of three without trying.  Such a sad time.  And another trend that is a sign of the times are people raising their grandchildren.  Either officially, or unofficially.  I have been asked several times why we do this.  Why don't we make our child raise her own child?  I say, "Because the child is a baby, and he can't help it".  Everyone wants their life to be the way it should be.  Sometimes that doesn't happen, and we don't know why.  I can honestly say I don't have a clue why two of my children have chosen lives different than the ones they were raised to live.  I don't know how we got on this road.  I just hope we don't stay here forever.

Courtney moved a few months ago out of state.  The state is very liberal and has a lot of welfare type programs.  She has applied for food stamps (which have a cash side available to them) and Medicaid.  There is also a possibility she can go to college free because she has no income.  I think if she gets these programs in place, she probably will stay there forever.

Dear Lord,

I have heard you speaking to me this week.  Thank you so much for the calmness you have brought to my life.  I have finally come to terms with the fact that I need to let go, and let you take care of my daughters.  I realize that I will always love them, worry about them, pray for them.  But I have to move aside and  let you work in their lives.

Even thought Courtney was in an accident this past week, thank you for letting her be safe.  Stay with her Lord, and make your presence known to her.  She says she is going to church.  I hope she is.

Please, Lord, keep all the prodigal children safe.  Bless them and their families.  Amen