Day 5 of 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

For the last few years, I have been looking for a group of other prodigal's moms to talk to, pray with, to support and find friendship with.  I have found a couple of groups who have made a lot of difference to me this year.  Two of the groups are secret, private groups on Face book.  In one of these groups, I have met another mom who has 4 prodigal children.  I have had two, though currently I only have one.  This group made me realize that my story is not the saddest or worst one there.  I don't know people in real life who deal with prodigal children.  So it has been eye opening to have other people that I can compare my life to. 

Some good things I am holding to this week, concerning my prodigal:

She has not been arrested or in prison before.

She has a job

She is healthy

I know where she is

She was raised in the church and knows the Lord.

One day I hope she realizes she desires the life God has planned for her.

Day 2: 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

Day 2:  31 Days of  Being the Prodigals' Mom

 

 

Today's is our prodigal's day to visit her child.  She started texting me this morning that she wanted to meet at a local restaurant that has a play area, tonight.  Usually when she does this, someone just happens to show up at the visitation, who isn't suppose to be there.  So we didn't go, and she didn't complain.  But she didn't come see her child either.  She called to talk to him two or three times, but couldn't drive 10 miles to eat with him or spend an hour with him.  She saw him a week ago for a couple of hours.  Then she saw him Saturday for about 15 minutes.  I never thought the day would come where she would choose a man over being her child's mom.  If I spend much time thinking about it, it makes me sad.  

Day 1 - 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

Day 1 :  31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom

Hello friends.  My topic for this 31 Day challenge is 31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom.  So much has happened in the last year, that it is hard to know where to start.  Instead of writing this like a diary, I will just talk about a topic each day.  Something I am dealing with currently in my quest to bring all my prodigals home.

One of our daughters came home in the spring.  Although it was hard being together again, things are great now.  She has made a lot of progress and is living on her own.  She is working on getting some court stuff paid off, so she can get her license back.  She is doing great and plans to go in the Military as soon as she finishes with her legal fines.

Our other daughter is not doing so well.  She has moved several times in the last six months.  She has changed jobs several times as well.  She broke up with her boy friend, got back together, and that status changes daily. 

The newest thing going on is that she has started posting about what horrible parents we are on the Internet.  Then all her friends comment on it and agree with her.  What is funny is that then, many times her friend's mothers, aunts, or grandmothers will contact me and tell me about these rants on the web.  In this way, the girls are able to tell our daughter they didn't tell us, but they want us to know what is said.  Our daughter has blocked our entire family, so no one can see what she does or says.  But still I know. 

I have recently found an Internet support group of other mothers of prodigal.  It is great.  The very first day, I realized that my story was not the "worst" story there.  That is never the case in person, among people I really know.  One lady had several prodigal children.  And she still functions and has a life.  I am seeing that I can get through this.  I just have to hold on to the fact that our life is not always going to be this way.  If it is, don't anyone tell me different, because I don't think I could stand it!

Till tomorrow!

31 Days of Being the Prodigals' Mom starts Tuesday!

 

The blogger "31 Days of" Link up with The Nester Blog starts Tuesday October 1.  I hope you will check back with me here.

I believe this is my second year linking up, and I plan to discuss what I have learned in the last year as the Prodigals' Mom.  One of my children came home and is doing well.  Another is not doing so well. 

I have been able to find some support for myself in a few places this past year.  Maybe I can share a little of what I've learned with you here.  See you Tuesday!

UPDATE:

Please scroll down to see each day's post!  Each will be titled Day ___ of 31 Days of Being a Prodigals' Mom

Happy New Year 2013

Hello friends.  It has been about 6 weeks since I have been here to publish any news.  I have been doing some self examination.  I have decided that I need to move forward with my life, day by day.  I need to put my family that lives with me first.  I can't go back to the way things used to be, no matter how much I'd like to.  I just need to keep going forward.  That is all I can do.

I hope you all have a wonderful new year.  The best ever.  I hope we can all say that this time next year.  That 2013 was the best year ever.  Dawn

New Day

Well, I made it.  Another day.  Today I got several calls about or for Molly.  One was from a doctor I didn't know.  Wonder if it was for prescriptions?  Don't guess I'll find out.  Another one was a complaint about some of her behavior.

Husband is not handling all this well, and I don't know how to help him.  I wish I did.  I'll keep working on that. 

Hope you all had a wonderful day.  I went to Bible Study tonight.  I'm thinking about looking for a new congregation. 

Dawn

I've Gotta Live the Life I Have

Some of you may have noticed I haven't been here in a few weeks.  I guess if you have prodigals in your life, or uncontrollable elements that you deal with, you might understand where I've been the last couple of weeks.  I have been wallowing.  In the past.  Wishing and remembering that past life, and trying to figure out how to get back there.  What could I do to make things like they were. 

Finally I realized that is unlikely.  Of course, many things can't "go back".  Kids grow and age.  Things change.  But even the things that could change are unlikely. 

Courtney seems to be doing better.  She was told by the doctor out there that her arm would be healed in about two more weeks.  I'm please that she is better.  Also she sounds better in other ways as well.  Today she called to tell me she will be home for Christmas.  A friend is driving her here.  The friend will stay for about two weeks, then Courtney and her friend will head back, unless Courtney changes her mind and stays.  So we will see.  That is a good thing to look forward to.

Our daughter Molly has "divorced" us.  She is angry at us for everything in her life.  She trashes us all over town.  She calls herself by a different last name.  She talks about us to people we do business with, and posts stuff on the internet about us.  I never thought I would reach a point in my life where my daughter would act like this, and I would say nothing.  Not defend myself, not discuss it, etc.  I don't know if people think I'm crazy or she is.  I don't know if they wonder if we know, or wonder why we don't respond.  It is a hard time around here.  People I don't even know call to tell me things about her, what she has said, etc.  Sometimes people hint around, wanting to see if I will respond, try to get me to discuss her.  The last think I want to do is "air my laundry in public".  She is doing enough of that for all of us.  Molly is making bad choices all around, about a lot of things.  I'm afraid the day is going to come when her choices will be gone.

This week I saw a clip art that said, "Well Hello There!  You look like a bad decision.  Come on over here!"  I feel like I have seen that one up close and personal.  More than once.

So I have been wondering how I can fix everything.  How I can make this all better for my family.  And I felt God say to me that I needed to live the life I have now.  I can pray that things get better.  Pray that our daughters make better lives for themselves.  And I do feel that Courtney is trying at the moment.  But regardless, I have to let go of how things were, and concentrate on what I can do now, to make things better in my home for my household.  I know that doesn't mean I won't think of my daughters and pray for them each day.  It just means that I need to make new priorities.  Priorities I have better control over.

God takes care of the birds.  He will take care of my daughters.  He knows what is best for them.  I will continue to pray.  But I am going to TRY to step back, and get out of God's way.  I know He loves them, too.  I'm going to let Him do his work.  And I'm going to pray.

In this way I can be a better wife to my husband, mother to my at-home daughter, and grandmother to my grandchild.  At least I can try.

Stop back by to see me tomorrow.  I'm going to try hard to be here!  I hope all of you are having a better week than we are.  See you tomorrow.

Dawn